March 25, 2011

30 Day Challenge, Day 24: The Learning Curve

Sharing my "wealth" of wisdom here today is the challenge, so here are some things I've learned....

  • When you are home alone, the phone will ring or someone will come to the door the minute you enter the bathroom.
  • Jehovah's Witnesses don't like it when you share your beliefs back.  It gets rid of them very quickly.  Mormons, on the other hand, will sit down and chat.
  • How messy the house is is directly proportional to how much company is coming (and how soon).
  • How terrible I look is directly proportional to how many people I know and run into when I am out.  I never run into anyone I know when I look fabulous, but let me go to Wal-mart in sweats with my hair sticking up and my whole graduating class is bound to be there.  Even if it's 3:00 AM.
  • Two male dogs in the house is not the best idea.
  • Women are more skilled at driving school buses than men. 
  • The kid with the most morning gas will always be the one right behind the bus driver.
  • No amount of tomato sauce and cheese makes eggplant taste good.
  • Teenage boys are easier to raise than teenage girls.
  • A workaholic boyfriend is going to be a workaholic husband.
  • The day you sing really loud or have a conversation with yourself when the bus is the day some kid will act up and your boss will pull the video tape to review.
  • Gray hair happens.
  • Women's feet are getting bigger.  It used to be sizes 7 & 8 that were always sold out, now it's 9 & 10.
  • Your kids never think it's as important as you do.  Doesn't matter what "it" is.
  • Cars always need gas on the crappiest weather days.
  • The missing shipment, refund check, etc. will arrive right after you send that nasty e-mail or blow your stack at the customer service rep on the phone.
  • The most heated arguments are always the ones in which you discover just how wrong you can be.
  • Not all brides are beautiful and not all babies are cute.
  • If you have a teenage daughter you might as well adjust to being treated like you are the stupidest person on the planet.  How you manage to walk around without a helmet and someone nearby to wipe the drool off your chin is a mystery. 
  • April showers do not bring May flowers.  They bring MUD, which will be tracked into your house by spouses, children, pets, stray neighbors, the Avon Lady, and anyone else that feels like it.
  • The better something tastes, the worse it is for you.
  • Dressing room mirrors make everything look bigger.
  • Dishes do not wash themselves.  Laundry doesn't fold itself.  Damn.
  • Sneakers, underwear, dairy products, ripe fruit, strippers.....not everything gets better with age.
  • You should laugh as much as you can, love as much as you can, and live as much as you can, because there will always be something you should be doing and someone will always have more than you or be better at something than you.  Don't waste time fretting about it.

Day 25: Put your iPod on shuffle, first 10 songs
Day 26: Your Dream Wedding
Day 27: Original Photo of the city you live in
Day 28: Something that stresses you out
Day 29: 3 Wishes
Day 30: a picture of yourself this day and 5 good things that happened since you started the challenge


Ellen Stewart (aka Ellie/El/e) said...

Whoa, quite the post!

Women's feet are getting bigger. My first husband was a "shoe dog," he worked in fashion. Shoes, at least then, had to be bought in lots. If a store wanted more 9's and 10's, they had to by as many 5's and 6's. This is why those rare women with small feet luck out at shoe clearance time.

Beth Zimmerman said...

Wow! This was AWESOME! I laughed. I almost cried. I tweeted (that's a good thing unlike if I had "tooted"). I nodded the whole way through! Excellent life lessons, Miss Stacy Lynn!

Katie said...

I was thinking "oh that's SO right the entire time..laughed loudly at the teenage girl comment about wearing a helmet!

quilly said...

As an Avon Lady, I take exception to this post!

(Except the parts that made me lol.)

Stacy Lynn said...

Glad everyone got a laugh out of this!

Quilly....I've been an Avon Lady before, too. Just one of the first people that popped into my head. :)


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