A Challenge, An Intro & A Count

You may have noticed a new banner over there to the right....right under my profile....touting the Ultimate Blog Challenge.  The UBC, as I will be calling it from now on to save wear and tear on my fingers and keyboard, is a month-long challenge/blog hop that takes place once every quarter and goes along with the changes you are seeing and will continue to see around here.



I've heard of the UBC before, but this is the first time I've signed up to participate.  It's not going to be easy since I'm heading to Tennessee for four days next week and then will be on vacation July 20 - 27.  I'm not sure that WiFi will be available in either location, so I will be doing my best to get posts written before hand and schedule them to post in my absence.  Scheduling posts has never gone well here on Blogger.  Actually, it's never gone at all.  I've tried.  The posts never got published.  That brings me to the big change...

In the near future A Life Lived Well will be moving to Wordpress.  My sweet and very talented blog friend, Beth (you really should pay her a visit...she is a fabulous writer), who, by the way, designed my blog's present look, is working on a new look and the switch.  She understands and LIKES all that technical stuff that makes my eyes go crossed and my head spin.  As soon as we (mostly she) get it ready you'll be directed over there.  It's pretty exciting stuff.  The blog's going to have its own domain name and everything! (That means it's going to be a dot.com....I didn't know, either.)

With all the changes going on and new visitors coming in from the UBC, I thought I'd take a minute to tell you a little bit about me and who I am.  I apologize if you're one of my handful of loyal readers who already knows me well.

Let's start with the obvious....

Photo Source

My name is Stacy.  It's nice to meet you.  I work as a school bus driver, which explains all the free time I have to play with my blog during the summer.  I've been married to Tim, a project superintendent for a commercial construction company, for 28 years (29 in November).  We have two adult children.  Our son, Matt, is 26, married, and has two children of his own.  Megan, our daughter, is 24 days from turning 21.  She is still living at home with us, though by living at home, I mean we see her as she passes through on her way out and on her way in to bed.

I'm not so sure I want to keep doing the bus driving thing and I'm keeping my eyes open this summer in case anything else pops up.  It's a tough sell.  I may not enjoy the constant driving (especially on winter roads) but it does pay well for a part-time job, I don't have to work nights, weekends or holidays, and I do have the whole summer off.

My Christian faith is probably the next thing you should know about me.  I do often write posts about Christian issues and everything else I try to run through that filter.  I do try to avoid being preachy in the regular stuff and well, if the flat-out Christian posts aren't your cup of tea, you can always skip those.

Maybe I should just sum it up by saying I'm probably a liberal's worst nightmare.  I am conservative, a Bible-believing Christian, I LOVE THIS COUNTRY, I'm pro-gun rights, anti-abortion, and no (let's just get this out and over with), I don't support gay marriage.  I believe our government is out of control and is selling us down the river at a frightening speed.

This is NOT me!
source

Now, before you put me in a category (redneck, racist, wacko, Bible-thumper....am I getting warm?) take the time to get to know me.  What you will find is someone who loves God....and therefore tries to practice that love thy neighbor thing.  I believe it's more than possible to love and get along with someone without compromising my values.  I try to avoid getting on my soapbox too much on here and when I do, I welcome thoughtful discussion from all points of view and promise you I will not continue to beat a dead horse.  I know that on some things we just have to agree to disagree.

Okay, we've gone over the big (and scary) stuff.  What else can I tell you?  I'm a bookaholic.  I currently have 5 bookcases filled to overflowing with books, a NOOK that is filling up rapidly, and there are still piles of books all over the place.  I like to cook (but not to clean up the mess), travel, walk along the beach, swing on a porch swing, write, garden, and listen to country music.  I don't drink coffee, but have to have a Coke in the morning.  Flea markets, auctions, yard, and garage sales excite me!  I like to live with color (my living room is painted pumpkin orange!).  I am NOT a domestic goddess, so don't expect to find housekeeping tips.

Bottom line....I'm human, I make mistakes, and I'm trying to figure this life out.

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I join in a little thing around here on Mondays called Multitudes on Monday with Ann Voskamp, author of the best-selling book One Thousand Gifts.  It's all about being grateful for the things in our lives...the big and the small.  It's about finding God's blessings in everything.  Even the bad times.  So, every Monday you will find me counting.

131.  Meeting friends for breakfast on a Sunday morning.

132.  Having exactly what is needed, when there doesn't seem to be any way possible.

133.  A life leisurely enough to allow for blogging.

134.  Friends with skills and a willingness to help.

135.  An older gentleman at the garden center who told of losing his wife 14 months ago and shared the story of their 65 years together.

136.  A husband who shares my dreams.

137.  Summer rain drumming on the roof.

138.  The curious little dog who likes to play, play, play!  And the big dog that likes to sleep, sleep, sleep!

139.  The lush, green-ness after the rain.

140.  A husband who may not have to work on July 4 after all.

Visit A Holy Experience

Here's What's Up

I've been A.W.O.L. lately.  Sorry about that.  It was a busy weekend and now I find I'm really feeling run down and tired.....which has me feeling "blah" and struggling to fight off those lies Satan likes to whisper in my ear.  I'm doing a so-so job at it and feeling a bit blue and sorry for myself today.

*Easter really bummed me out...as just about any holiday is tending to do these days.  Those are the times when it's impossible to ignore that our son and his family aren't here.  We send gifts to the kids and make a point of sending a message that we love them.  Tim has heard from him twice recently.  Megan hears from him now and then.  I haven't heard a thing.  It stinks, but I won't apologize for something I did not do.  I waffled about it a while ago and Tim said no.  I told him to go see the kids since the anger apparently doesn't extend to him.  He says he won't go unless I am welcome, too.  So now I feel guilty about that.

*Tim doesn't see the orthopedic guy for his hand until Thursday.  He hasn't slowed down on working with one hand in a cast....but when he's at home he wants Megan and I to do everything for him and gets mad if we don't.  Megan and I are running out of good humor.

*I haven't heard anything from the doctor about the x-rays of my knee, so I guess that means there isn't anything seriously wrong.  He said he'd call if there was and he's very good about that, not like some offices.  I think I'm still going to call later this week just to ask him to explain what I was looking at when I saw the big white spot on the bone with a white zig-zag running up from it.

*Megan stayed at a friend's house last night.  She is (according to her Facebook status) out putting in applications this morning.  I hope she has some luck.  Her big goal is to move out of here.  I'm not against that.  Maybe if she does we will still have a relationship.  Right now we're not so good.  She is back to sleeping most of the day and being up all night.  I rarely see her and when she is here and awake, she stays in her room avoiding us.  She gets loud and defensive if I try to say anything to her...doesn't even wait to see what's up.

Sigh.  This stuff with my kids is breaking my heart.  I wish I knew how it went so horribly wrong.

Anyway....

*Easter was a little different.  Our little fellowship had a service at 10:00 and several of us had decided to go out for dinner afterward.  Tim told Megan she had to go.  She did, though she complained about being tired and not feeling good the whole time and was worried about when we'd be done so she could go celebrate Easter with her un-boyfriend and his family.  We also invited my mom and her husband and miracle of miracles, they went!  I believe they enjoyed themselves, too.

*There was no ham in our Easter.  The dinner after church was at a huge Chinese buffet that just opened.  It was very good!  And this was my fortune....

Bahahahahaha!  Now that's a keeper!

*For supper that night I made chicken enchiladas.  Other than church it really didn't feel like Easter at all.  I guess, just like I've had to do with Christmas, I'll learn to adjust and accept that the traditions and family don't mean to others what they've always meant to me.

*The Civic Club met last night.  I shared a little about them last month.  We are looking at the fact that after 90+ years of service, it is time to disband the club.  It has outlived it's usefulness...and most of its members.  Things went better than I ever expected last night as far as taking care of business and I did something that someone should have done a long, long, loooong time ago.  I stood my ground with "Mary."

Mary is the woman that every church or club has.  She has been there forever so she "knows" everything.  She is bossy and wants things run her way.  I've been president for 2 years and I don't think I've done a thing without Mary calling (or having her hench-woman call) to tell me it needs done and how to do it.

Mary is manipulative, domineering, condescending, stubborn, expects to get her way, and will beat a dead horse into the ground during meetings.  The one thing she is very, very good at is claiming the limelight and getting her face and/or name in the newspaper.  Last night we had a motion on the table and I called for a vote.  Mary jumped in and wanted to discuss the disbanding.  What we were voting on was financial and would not move the disbanding forward in any way.  I told Mary we could discuss the disbanding after the vote.  She kept insisting we discuss it.  I kept telling her we would after the vote since it DID NOT AFFECT what we were voting on.  She kept insisting like I wasn't even talking.  I finally put on my big, loud, take-no-prisoners-voice, leaned across the table, pointed right at her and said, AFTER THE VOTE.  You could have heard a pin drop as everyone waited to see what Mary would do (she is not a popular lady except in her own mind because she belongs to virtually every organization in town).  She sat back and said...."Well, okay then."  And that was it.

I really don't condone yelling at 80-year-old women, but you know....sometimes they have it coming and need to be reminded that age doesn't mean you get to ride rough-shod over everyone.

*I made a  Sunshine cake for the meeting last night.  It was amazing!  Here's the recipe if you want it.

Cake
1 package of yellow cake mix
1/2 cup vegetable oil*
1/2 cup chopped walnuts
4 eggs
1 (11 ounce) can of mandarin oranges, undrained

 *For High altitude: Add 1/4 cup of flour and decrease oil to 2 Tbsp.

Preheat oven to 350 degrees. Grease the bottom of a 13x9 pan. Beat cake mix, (flour-if High Altitude), oil, walnuts, eggs and mandarin orange segments with juice on low speed for 30 seconds. Then mix on medium speed for 2 minutes. Bake at 350 degrees for 25-30 minutes. Cool for about 1 hour before frosting cake. 

Frosting
1 (26 ounce) can crushed pineapple, undrained
1 large package of vanilla instant pudding
1 (8 ounce) container of non-dairy whipped topping (my Mom uses Cool-whip)

Stir undrained pineapple and pudding mix together until completely mixed.  Fold in non-dairy whipped topping.  Frost cake.  Store in refrigerator until ready to use.

Note:  Store leftovers in refrigerator.

A Super Hodgepodge

1.  In the USA this coming Sunday millions will be watching as the Baltimore Ravens take on the San Francisco 49's in the Superbowl.  What was the last event you attended that could be described as super?

~ I've been to a few "events" in the last couple of years, but the last one I'd describe as super?  That would have to be the Toby Keith concert in Pittsburgh two years ago.  The hubby bought Megan and I VIP tickets and our seats were front row center!  Now how could it get any super-er than that?  Like this:

2.  Share something you're a fan of these days?

~ This is an easy one....Duck Dynasty! All those guys crack me up, but I am a huge fan of Willie.

3. How do you feel about wings?  In case anyone is confused, I'm talking the edible appetizer kind.  What's your preferred seasoning on a wing-hot, mild, teryiaki, sweet and sour, other?  Do you make your own or is there a favorite place you like to go for wings?   

~ I don't go anywhere for wings.  I don't like wings.

4.  As long as we're talking sports today...have you followed the Lance Armstrong story?  Did you watch his interview with Oprah and if so what was your reaction to his confession and subsequent remarks?  

~ I didn't watch.  I don't like Oprah or Lance.  I can say that I think it was all just publicity for his book.

5.  What's a question you hate to be asked?  

~ How much to you weigh?

6. The coaches in this Sunday's big game happen to be real life brothers.  Jim Harbaugh coaches the 49er's and his older brother John Harbaugh coaches the Baltimore Ravens.  Were you and your sibling(s) competitive?  In what way? Are you still?  If you're an only child how did you handle competition growing up?  

~ I'm an only.  I don't remember much competition other than in sports.  I was very competitive in sports.  In it to win it or why bother was pretty much my attitude.

7.  What's your favorite game involving a ball and when did you last play?    

~ Football has always been my favorite game with a ball.  When I was younger I loved to play.  These days I'm content to watch so it's been years.  When I was a youth leader I'd play a game with kids called Prison Ball.  It was dodge ball, but people who got "out" went to prison which was behind the other team.  If a ball made it into the prison the prisoners could throw it.  If they hit anyone they were back in the game.  Sometimes we'd throw 2 or 3 balls into the game.  Talk about a game that kept you on the move!

8.  Insert your own random thought here. 
~ I'm thinking Mother Nature needs to stop skipping her meds!  Last week we had a couple days of temperatures hovering at the zero mark.  Friday we had a horrible snow storm that began after the kids were in school and kept right on going until after they were home (talk about a long, long afternoon on the bus) and today I woke up to the actual outside temperature at 65 degrees!  Now we're looking at high winds, thunderstorms and heavy rain for the rest of the day and tonight.....SNOW!

A Last Look at the One Word for 2012

I did choose 0NE word for 2012 back in January.  I wasn't all official and part of the community, though.  In fact, I really didn't even know there was one.

My word for 2012 was "gentleness."

I chose gentleness because it was something I wanted to be.  Something I wanted to become.

Was I successful?  I think I've made progress.  I am definitely more thoughtful before I speak or act.  I consider how my words or actions will affect others.  I try to keep my temper reigned in.

You have been reading my posts over the course of the year.  Maybe you can tell me.  Have you seen a gentling?

The Invisible Woman Speaks Up

There's been a lot of unpleasant stuff going on in my life the past few days.  Without getting into it, I'll just say it's family related.  I know many of you will sympathize without knowing more.  I wasn't even going to mention it at all on the blog, but I read this article over at Messy Marriage written by Beth Steffaniak.  

Beth writes about what kind of person we are in our marriage, invisible or transparent, and how that affects our relationship with our spouse (and no, the unpleasantness in my life isn't with my husband).  I think the logic Beth spells out in her article applies to ALL of our relationships.

Well, here....take this quiz she gives:

1. Do you consistently own up to your faults and sins or fear the ramifications of doing so?
2. Do you let “trusted” friends (as opposed to all your Facebook friends)know how you’re “really” doing or keep things to yourself?
3. Are you and most of your friends more self-accepting or self-conscious/self-condemning?
4. Do you accept conflict and deal with it humbly/responsibly or generally avoid and/or fear conflict?
5. Do you humbly and honestly work through an offense or quickly let loose with your anger?

Affirmative answers to the first half of each question indicates transparency.  Agreeing with the second half indicates invisibility.

My answers:

1. I tend to the latter.  Born out of the shame my dad always made me feel.  
2. I keep things to myself.  I have a "Never let them see you cry mentality."
3. I am definitely self-conscious and self-condemning.  I don't think I'm good enough so I certain expect others to think the same way.
4. I LOATHE conflict and avoid it like the plague.
5. This is the only one I'm a bit torn on.  I admit I've been known to lose my temper, but an awful lot of the time I just bottle it up and hold it in.  Now that I'm thinking about it, though, that pretty much just means I'm postponing the inevitable explosion.

So, what can being an invisible woman mean to me?

• If you feel as if you can’t really connect with people—in particular your spouse.
• If you feel like your arguments with your spouse go 'round and 'round.
• If you have a constant sense of shame or fear that often interferes with your marriage.
• If you’re tired of trying to pleasing your spouse and in the end feeling taken for granted.
• If you feel a sense of emptiness that not even your spouse or family can fill.

Wow, can I ever relate to EVERYTHING she said.  I don't feel like I really connect and friendships come hard for me.  Arguments with my husband do, indeed, go 'round and 'round.  The fear and shame don't (at least I don't think they do) interfere in the marriage, but they sure do in other relationships.  I am definitely tired of trying to please people and feeling like they only want anything to do with me when they need me to DO something.  Empty?  Ohhhhh, yes.

I get how this makes me feel, but what affect does it have on the people in my life?  Beth says:

"....if you live like an invisible man or woman, then others,especially your spouse, won’t see “into” you. No, they will seethrough you. Try as you might, your efforts to put your best face forward, to pretend like everything’s all right, or to wear your emotions on your sleeve in an attempt to control or manipulate others will not stop them from seeingthrough you. 

They may not completely realize what they’re seeing, but they’ll know that you’re hiding, not being real, not trusting them with your heart. 

And they will not trust you because of it."  

Ouch.  Seriously.  Ouch.  

Not that long ago a trusted friend told me I needed to tear down the walls and become transparent and let people in.  I've been called fake, a liar, and a few other things by a family member.  I can't tell you how much that hurt, but after reading this I'm realizing there is some truth to the label.  The thing is when you are invisible, people think they know what you're doing and why, but they're wrong and their wrong judgements coupled with the invisible person's fear can lead to a lot of misunderstandings.

I've got a long way to go, but I'm trying.  I'm focusing more on God than on myself and my own wounds.  I'm trying to reach out to people.  It still feels pretty stilted, but there are moments...and of course, the receptivity of the person I try with makes a difference.  It's going pretty well, I think, with Tim, my mom, the ladies at church....others are going to be tougher nuts to crack, but I'm okay with that.  I'm doing my best and I know what's in my heart.  If they can't offer understanding, forgiveness, and let me in then they have some of their own issues to deal with, too.

Pondering Independence

I'm back from my self-imposed semi-hiatus, which means it's time to blog.  It's Thursday, which means it's time for Pondering with a Purpose.  I don't know if Brenda and the gang missed me, but I've missed them.  Pondering is one of my favorite weekly memes.

To refresh your memory (and mine), the way this works is that Brenda gives  us a prompt and we (the bloggers) expound on it in any way we want to....photos, poetry, whatever.  Then we grab the link badge (that pretty blue box over there on the left) and leave the link to our post over on Brenda's site.  Pretty simple.  If you want to read the other posts or have the urge to join in simply click on the button or the links above.  Brenda has all the rules spelled out for you on her site.  Now, on with the pondering!

This week's prompt: Independence

Are you independent or do you lean on other people for your basic needs?

For the most part, I'd have to say I'm independent.  I was certainly raised to be.  There was no coddling in our household growing up.  There were chores to do and homework to be done and there certainly wasn't anyone who was going to do them for me.  I was given an alarm clock at age 8 and I've gotten myself up in the mornings ever since.  At about the same time I started putting myself to bed without hugs and tuck-ins.  I was an only child in often isolated areas so I learned to amuse myself.  Unlike so many kids today, my parents were not there to keep me entertained.  I developed an imagination and sense of adventure.  I did and still do things that tend to surprise people.  I'm not afraid to strike out on my own or try something new.  I hope I never lose that.

But then there is another side of me.  I am a Christian and as such I am supposed to be dependent on God for all my needs.  I struggle with that sometimes, with the asking him what his will is.  I tend to want to charge right out there and "git 'r done!"  I also struggle with God being all I need to be satisfied.  I guess that might be the "bad" side of the above coin.  All that hands-off parenting has left me a bit insecure on some level.  I want everyone to like me.  I will do just about anything to avoid conflict.  The idea of someone finding me to be lacking makes me feel sick.  I guess I'm still seeking the love I didn't get and sometimes I expect a lot more from people than they can give and it causes problems.  I'm working on allowing God's love and acceptance to be enough.

Tuesday Thinkin'

Good morning!  Experiencing my first ever "hurricane day" off from school.  Sitting here in the man-eating chair (it seems to swallow you and stops just short of requiring an act of God to get out of it), puppy curled up beside me, and laptop on, well, my lap.  Call it command central.  It's where I'm watching the news, checking with friends and relatives and generally enjoying this bonus day.  I do promise, however, to struggle out of the chair in a bit and get some much needed work done around the house.  We had a bit of a plumbing issue (not storm related) in the kitchen yesterday so I have to deal with the aftermath.  I'm hoping to do some catching up on all of your blogs today, too, since I have ALL day....Bible study is cancelled tonight, too.

I hope all of you are safe and dry if you have been in the storm's path.  Most everyone I've talked to has suffered nothing more than minor inconveniences like flickering power, snow, local flooding, and closed schools or work.  Nothing like the pictures coming out of New York City or other places right along the coast.  Praise God for that and continued prayers going up for all those who haven't been so lucky.

A picture I saw yesterday showed what, for me, would be one of the worst things that could happen due to the storm:

That's a SHARK swimming in the water in what used to be a front yard in New Jersey!  Can you imagine?? The only thing that would be worse is snakes and I don't know, but I'm guessing that can happen in more tropical locations.  ***shudder***

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So, while I've been on this sort-of hiatus from blogging I've been thinking about the blog and what's been going on with it.  It really hasn't been thrilling me lately.  I'm chalking it up to trying too hard and being too intentional.  In the past my blogs have been more successful when I've just been....me.  When I've just written about life as it comes, the things that interest me as they pop up.  Scheduling Mondays for this, Tuesdays for that, and so on  tends to feel forced and my muses often don't cooperate.  So, when I come back full-time after the elections (In case you're new or haven't visited in a while...I've been doing a lot of volunteering.) you'll be getting more of me and less "articles" trying to pull people in.  You'll get to see more of me as a woman who is a Christian, approaching 50, and facing a soon-to-be-empty nest. How I'm handling it, how my life is changing.  What I'm struggling with.  What I'm happy about.  What I'm exploring.  What I'm feeling.  What I'm doing in my daily life.

I hope you'll stick around till the election's over and check things out.

I'll Sleep When I'm Dead (or Tomorrow...Whichever Comes First)

Sitting here cruising Facebook and Pinterest like I have nothing else to do.  Bwahahahaha!  Nothing could be further from the truth, but sometimes you just have to....stop.  I haven't had a lot of sleep the last two nights.  The hound is responsible for some of it.  The daughter who comes in at 2:00 and talks to me is responsible for more of it.  And last night can be blamed on the hair.  Specifically, the daughter's hair.

See, I had an appointment to get a Brazilian Blowout (fancy way of saying I spend big bucks to get my hair straightened with keratin...and even more big bucks on sulfate-free shampoos and conditioners to keep it straight for the full 3-5 months) and a trim.  My darling daughter called me just as I was putting my bus back in the garage for the night and told me to come and get her.  Seems she made an appointment for a consultation about changing her hair from self-inflicted black to salon-applied blonde.  She had just mentioned it to me for the first time earlier and suggested that my paying for it could be an early Christmas present (Yeah, right!  She wouldn't be pleased come December 25 when she's reminded....Remember that dye job you had to have back in October???).  I never said yes or no, but rather I'd have to think about it because I'd heard the salon owner explain the process to someone and it's expensive!

Well, to make a long story short(er), the salon owner does my hair and because I get so much expensive stuff done, she cut me a ginormous break.  She'd already reduced the price of my blowout and there she was offering to do this major project on my baby's head for $100.  I'm being serious when I say that is nearly giving it away.  Anyway, it took about 2 hours to get my hair done.  In the meantime, one stylist was working on Meg's hair and once she was done with me, the owner jumped in and two stylists worked on Meg's hair......FOR FOUR HOURS!!!!  We didn't walk out of the place until 9:30.  Ugh.  Not hideously late, I know, but remember I get up at 4:00 A.M.  Plus, I needed to make soup for a rally at the GOP office tonight.  I started to simmer the chicken, but it was taking too long so I shut if off and went to bed a little after 11:00.  The dogs wanted out at 3:30.  I turned the soup back on when I let them out and let it simmer until 5:00 when I picked the meat from the bones and threw everything in the crockpot.  Here's hoping it will be edible by the time I get home this afternoon.

I had an appointment at the dentist's this morning.  Routine cleaning and x-rays.  I need to have the two teeth that lost crowns pulled (doing that next Tuesday), two fillings, and another crown.  Sigh.  So glad we have dental insurance after all these years.  It's only $16 for each filling and $19 for each extraction.  The crown will be $300 so I'm holding off on it for just a bit.

I'll probably be at the GOP office until at least 8:30 tonight.  I'm hoping we're out of there by then, anyway, so I can get home in time to see the VP debate....and then switch to the Steelers/Titans game.

There is no school tomorrow due to a huge festival in the town where I work, so I will finally get to catch up on sleep then.

Megan being tag-teamed at the salon.  Notice how dark her hair
is and that's AFTER being stripped.

The new color.  It looks very pretty, but I think she's going
back one more time.....she wants to be platinum blond
around her face.  :(  At least it won't cost me any more.

Me with my new slightly shorter cut, blowout, and highlights.
I'm going to have to try to get a better one.  I have a lot more
highlights than this shows.  Not as many as Megan, but more
than this.  LOL  It was kind of dark in the salon.

On the Subject of Writing

I used to be really good at this.  This, being blogging.  I wrote every day.  Maybe it wasn't anything of much importance.  Okay, there's a better than average chance it wasn't.  The point is....I wrote.  Then something happened.  Several somethings, actually.

First, I made the acquaintance of MySpace.  It was so much fun trading comments and funny pictures and wasn't customizing your profile page absolutely addicting?!  There were so many options.  It was like nothing I'd done before.  Instant hook.

Then came a kind of dark, painful period in my life.  I moved away from God, got cynical, and spent a lot of time wallowing in my pain and disappointment.  My writing during this time came from a dark place and while the blog drew a good many readers I couldn't handle it.  That's when I turned to memes and for a while that's nearly all I did.  Day after day...and they weren't exactly edifying ones, either.  They were rather cynical and sarcastic and my answers followed suit.  Wildly popular, but I was getting tired of it at just about the time....things imploded.  I'm not going to get into it here, but suffice it to say, I got called on it and I pulled the plug on that blog.  Something I should have done long before that.

Facebook entered my life during the life of that blog, too.  Oh my.  If there is a bigger time-sucking vortex out there I have no idea where it is...oh wait....Pinterest just might fill those shoes.

I started this blog almost immediately after ending the old one.  I was in a better place and I wanted a new blog to reflect that.  I think I've done a fair job of that here.  Maybe not....you can let me know.  I've tried to share my rededication to the Lord and the changes in my life without getting too preachy.  I still resort participate in several memes but they're good ones.  The problem is the rest of the time.  I have been having one ginormous, unending case of writer's block.  Inspiration just doesn't seem to strike all that often these days.

A friend's blog led me to a great list of memes that I'm sure I'm going to be getting some inspiration from in the coming days (weeks, months, years.....).  I hope to find memes with a purpose or that make you think.  The silly ones are fun, but you can only take so much of them.  Anyway, my promise to you, my faithful readers (all 2 of you) is that I'm going to do my best to put fingers to keyboard and tap something out every day.  Sundays being the exception.

Wednesday Hodgepodge - Birthday Edition

1. I included this quote (attributed to William H. Danforth) in my blog post yesterday... "The best cure for a sluggish mind is to disturb it's routine." When was the last time you 'disturbed your routine' and how'd you do it?

~ I don't really have a routine.  I'd probably accomplish more and be more organized if I did, but I tend to be a fly by the seat of my pants kind of girl.  That's not saying my life's one thrill after another...just that planning is rare.  I try to do crosswords and other puzzles to rattle my brain.  They say anything that forces your brain to work in a new way is good.

2. What's your favorite fried food indulgence?

~ First place goes to the zucchini fries from the little restaurant down the road.  Second place goes to fried green beans.

3. Did you have an allowance as a kid? What did you do with it? Do you give your own kids an allowance?

~ I sort of had one, but it was a very small amount and I had to clean the entire house and do all the ironing (people still ironed back then) every week to get the allowance (that was really, really small) every two weeks.  And if my cleaning didn't meet my parents standards I would get grounded.  I stayed away from the whole allowance thing with my kids.

4. What's something you wish you knew more about?

~ Running a business.  I would love to have a little place to sell used books or a second-hand place to sell auction/yard sale finds.

5. Is there anything you feel too old to do anymore? If so, what?

~ Bungee jumping.  I am absolutely, positively too old for bungee jumping.  LOL

6. What's a song you think has a great first line?

~ Springsteen, by Eric Church.

To this day when I hear that song

I see you standing there on that lawn

Discount shades, store bought tan,

Flip flops and cut off jeans

7. Who are you writing to/for when you create a blog post? In other words...as you write, who is the audience in your head?

~ I don't really have an audience in mind.  I just write when inspiration strikes. At the blog conference I went to last year several speakers made the point that it doesn't matter how many people read your blog.  Just write what God wants you to write and he'll bring the ones who need to read it.  I kind of just go with that.

8. Insert your own random thought here.
~ Today's my birthday.  There are no plans on tap...everyone is working and my daughter's going to her aunt's to dog-sit for a few days.  It's fine by me....48 can come without a whole lot of hoopla.  The hubby called and sang a while ago.  Trust me, that's more than enough hoopla.  LOL

The New Me

Well, I have more time than expected today because of thunderstorms that drove the kids back to camp early.  So, here are a couple pictures of the new hair color(s) I got done today.  The ends are the original dark brown, she touched up the roots with a slightly lighter shade and then added blonde and red highlights.  Whatcha think?  I'm loving it!

Swim Little Fishy

I'm floundering here....and I don't mean fishing for the weird, flat fish with both eyes on the same side of its head.  I'm talking about being adrift in life, at loose ends, lost.....well, you get the idea.  I'm chalking it up to ADD (attention deficit disorder without the hyper-activity).  I'm not diagnosed (the doctors I've had have pooh-poohed the idea, but we're getting another one soon so...), but after raising two kids who were diagnosed I feel like I can say with a good bit of confidence that ADD is my problem and has been most of my life.

Unlike my daughter and husband (also undiagnosed because he refuses to entertain the idea he could have ADD) who tend to have a more evident form, I am what people call a "dreamer."  When I'm not interested in something (and sometimes even when I am) my mind wanders far away.  Because people like me don't "act up" like traditional ADHD people, we're often not diagnosed.

It doesn't help our cause that we are usually very intelligent and are able to "fake" it, so to speak.  For me, that has meant (even as a journalism major with a heavy concentration of English courses) that I never wrote a rough draft of anything unless I was required to turn one in.  Virtually ever paper or report I've ever written has been typed the night or even hours before it was due.  Because they've been good (I got mostly A's) no one ever saw a problem.  I shouldn't admit it, but for the most part when I had to write a report on a required book (not of my choosing), I rarely read the whole thing.  I've never studied for a test.  Either I learn something on the first reading or lecture or I'm not going to get it.  Yet, I still managed to graduate from high school with honors.

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Boredom is another issue.  I am bored.  A lot.  There can be a million things to do, but some days I am unable to get interested in anything.  I really hate those days because as a cruel joke those days also come with an overwhelming urge to be doing something.  Something important.  Something creative.  Something big.  And yet, I can't put my finger on what it is.  I'm usually antsy and grouchy on those days and prone to melancholy.  And now, just to make it more interesting, peri-menopause has set in with its hormone-driven forgetfulness, lack of focus, and bouts of sadness.  Sigh.

What I love are the days when (as I call it) the brain fog lifts or parts or evaporates or whatever it does....and my brain works differently.  Like it's supposed to.  I feel like I can do anything on those days.

What I hate is the lack of purpose.  I've been struggling with the whole kids-are-grown-(semi)empty-nest thing for nearly two years and trying to figure out who and what I am now that my job as a full-time mom is over.  What do I want to do?  More importantly, what does God want me to do?  Short answer...I have no idea.

The sermon this past Saturday was about spiritual gifts.  1 Corinthians 12:7-11 says, Now to each one the manifestation of the Spirit is given for the common good.  To one there is given through the Spirit the message of wisdom, to another the message of knowledge by means of the same Spirit, to another faith by the same Spirit, to another gifts of healing by that one Spirit, to another miraculous powers, to another prophecy, to another distinguishing between spirits, to another speaking in different kinds of tongues, and to still another the interpretation of tongues.  All these are the work of one and the same Spirit, and he gives them to each one, just as he determines.

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...and he gives them to each one...  Every one of us receives a gift.  I've done an in-depth spiritual gifts inventory before to determine what my gifts were.  The thing is, I don't believe we are given one gift and that's it for life.  Rather, I believe the gifts change according to the need in our lives and God's purpose for us.  Now you may have one gift that overshadows everything you do in life, like hospitality or administration, but a gift like those will work along with any other gift.

We might show signs of several gifts in our life, but at any given time there should be one clear "leader."  Do you know what your gift is?  It's not unusual for us not to know or to look at a specific gift and think "That's not me!"  That's part of why it's important to hang out with other believers.  They can look at your life and see what your gift is.  My pastor said to ask her if we weren't sure.  I think I'm going to have to ask.  Thank goodness, I can keep asking God, too.  Just because I'm not getting the message doesn't mean he's not sending it.  I am grateful that he is patient and will wait on me.

A.W.O.L.

I'm going to be missing today.  As soon as I get off work this morning I have to rush to the salon.  This is the day I'm finally getting another blow out...and not a moment too soon with all this rain and humidity lately.  Love the freedom of hair so straight I don't have to blow it out or use a straight iron for several months.  I'm also getting color.  Not sure what yet, other than a dark base with a couple of colors streaked over that to better hide the gray.  I wanted to spread it out over two days, but the salon owner says it's better to get them done at the same time (the blow out seals the color so it lasts longer) and she promised to have me done in time to get back to work this afternoon.

Tonight is Bible study at church.  I toyed with missing just this once, but we're studying Revelation and it's so interesting.  So, I'm going.  I should get home around 8:00 tonight.

Have a great Tuesday!

My Story

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I mentioned this Saturday, but I'm telling you again because today's the big day.  My bloggy friend, Dawn at Beneath the Surface: Breath of Faith is beginning a new feature on her blog.  She's added a "faith tab."  On that page she's inviting anyone and everyone who is willing, to share the story of how they came to the Lord and the journey it's taken them on.  She asked readers to share last week and yours truly is the first to step up to the plate.

If you've known me for a while, you know I'm kind of shy so the idea of sharing something so very personal makes me a little nervous, but on the other hand...God has been so amazing in my life that I want everyone to know.  If you're even a little curious how I ended up where I am today head over to Dawn's blog and read on.  It's a slightly edited version of what I wrote (I always have plenty to write) because of length issues so if you have questions or want to know more....feel free to ask.

If you get there and the post isn't up...try again in a little bit.  I'm publishing this before I head out to work so it's up (the scheduling feature doesn't seem to be working for me).  Dawn will probably post a bit later this morning as not everyone gets up at 4:00 A.M.

 

Let's Get Messy

Let me make something perfectly clear.

I am just as messed up, struggling, and less than perfect as anyone else.  I am a sinner.  A couple of the comments left here or elsewhere lately have led me to fear that some may be seeing me as having it all together or being spiritually "advanced."  HA!  Nothing could be further from the truth.

Every day is a struggle.  Every.  Single.  Day.  As Paul wrote in Romans 8:15, I do not understand what I do.  For what I want to do I do not do, but what I hate I do.  Like Paul, I know the teachings and the law.  I know what God expects of me.  I know what is holy and pure.  What is right and true.  And still I do wrong.

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I have trouble being grateful sometimes.

I am sometimes jealous when others seem to have what I desire, but don't have.

I get angry and lose my temper.

I am sometimes proud of what I write here or teach at church and forget that it's God, not me.

I listen to the music, watch the movies and television, and hear the jokes of this world.  God created music and entertainment and laughter.  None of those things are bad just for existing, but this world has corrupted them and filled them with words and images that are far from holy or pleasing to God.  And still I listen and watch and hear.....and I enjoy it.  Laugh with it.  Think on it.

I harbor feelings that are far from loving toward those who have hurt me.

I judge sometimes without even realizing it.

I don't pray anywhere near enough.

My house is messy.

The laundry languishes in the dryer and I don't iron.

I don't cook every day and I impulse shop...forgetting to check the sale papers and clip those coupons.

I fall asleep when I'm reading the Bible.

I have doubts.

I'm just like you.  Maybe we don't have the same sins, but we both have sin in our lives.  God knows that and guess what?  HE LOVES US ANYWAY!  He knows we're going to screw up and he forgives us.  It's called "grace."  But don't be lulled into the trap of thinking that grace is a free-pass.  Far from it.

We can't just go on sinning and then say "Oops!  Sorry, God" when we get caught.  We are to keep learning and growing in our relationship with God.  We are to become more and more Christ-like all the time.  We will mess up, but as long as we tell God we're sorry and honestly try to change our ways, it's okay.  It's the willful ignoring of God's laws and teachings that break his heart and anger him.

We're all works in progress, construction zones in a way, so yes, we can learn from each other....but we must be very careful not see either ourselves or others as better.  We all have something to teach because we are all uniquely crafted by the Father and we all have different strengths and experiences and we are all at different stages of the journey.



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Tag, I'm "It"!

Oh, boy....Dawn has tagged me in a post on her blog and I'm warning you now....it means I'm going to be tagging some of you.  So, here's how it works:

1. Post these rules.

2. You must post 11 random things yourself.

3. Answer the ques­tions the tag­ger set for you in their post.

4. Cre­ate 11 new ques­tions for the peo­ple you tag to answer.

5. Go to their blog and tell them that you've tagged them.

6. No stuff in the tag­ging sec­tion about ‘you are tagged if you are read­ing this.’ Blah blah blah, you legit­i­mately have to tag 11 peeps!

Now this is the hard part...11 random things about me.  Hmmm.

1. Right now I have three feathers glued into my hair.  One red one and two rainbow ones. My daughter talked me and her boyfriend's mother into going with her to get them.  Shh...I can't wait till they come out.
2. I don't wear any scents heavier than body sprays and those tend to be fruit scents.  Actual perfumes and floral scents kill my sinuses.
3. I rearrange the furniture every couple of weeks.
4. I loathe folding laundry.  It is often still in the dryer or basket days after it's washed and dried.
5. I'm the Imelda Marcos of purses.  I like shoes, but I LOVE purses.
6. I'd rather read than just about anything.
7. I secretly love my daughter's guinea pigs and having them cuddle up against my neck when I'm watching TV.
8. I think I'd like for my husband and I to have seperate beds.  I'd miss him, but I think we'd sleep better.  He has a lot of sleep issues and they disturb my sleep, too.  And he'd just do better without me and the poodle disturbing him.
9. I'd move to the beach in a heartbeat.  I hate snow and cold and where do I live...the mountains of Pennsylvania.  Blech!
10. I love to study the Bible, spirituality, church history, etc.
11. I tend to be a loner.  I want relationships and contact, but at the same time they seem to take more effort than I often want to make.  I think it must come partly from being an only child and partly from often living in areas where there weren't other kids (or neighbors for that matter).  I missed out on some social development.

The questions Dawn asked me:

1. The first three things you do in the morning (excluding bodily function activities)?

~ Let the dogs out, pour a glass of Coke (need the caffeine, hate coffee), and check the weather.

2. When was the last time you exercised and what did you do?

~ Well, this is embarrassing.  I was doing so well with Jake and the gym, but that program ended at the end of October and then I was busy with school and then it was the holidays....so the last time I really exercised was October and it was a full-blown strength training session.  Since then?  I've taken a walk or two.  I know, I know....it's on the resolution list.

3.  One thing you will do (or try) this year that you have never done before?

~ Crocheting.  I have failed miserably at knitting so I am determined to try it.  I have the hooks, how-to books, and yarn....just have to buckle down and get to it.

4. If money were no object what is the one thing you would buy for yourself?

~ No issue at all?  2013 Ford Mustang.  Grab-me-blue with black rally stripes.

5. If you could go anywhere in the world to explore and visit, where would it be?

~ If there was no danger of being blown up, shot or kidnapped I would totally tour the Middle East....Israel, Egypt, Iran, Iraq, Turkey.

6. You can interview 3 people (they have to be living) - who are they?

~ Okay, Toby Keith just because he's Toby...and because he's done a lot of USO tours and stuff for the military that would be interesting to hear about.  George W. Bush because he was the president during the darkest hour of our generation....how could he not have a lot to say?  And Tim Tebow because he's captured the nation's attention with his faith.

7. Describe yourself in 7 words or less. 

~ Dreamer, believer, creative, funny, stubborn, introspective, student.

8. Favorite fruit?

~ Gala apples or blueberries.

9. One historical person you want to talk to who is not alive (Jesus is alive so don't even go there)?

~ Ha! Ha!  I was going to say Jesus on the interview question and use the bit about he is alive.  Anyway....I'd have to say John and Priscilla Alden (you know, from the Mayflower) because my family tree goes back to them.  If not them, then either Thomas Jefferson or Teddy Roosevelt.

10. Your favorite movie?

~ "Dirty Dancing" is my favorite guilty pleasure.  Love watching it on a rainy summer afternoon with a big bowl of popcorn.

11. What is the best book you would recommend for 2012?

~ Definitely Ann Voskamp's "One Thousand Gifts."

My Tag-ees:

Rhonda

Marti

Beth
Ellen
Rochelle
Debby
Wendy
Daenel
Chantelle
Kelly
Chocolate Covered Daydreams


And the questions for my 11 tag-ees:

1. If money and know-how aren't obstacles, what is your dream occupation?
2. Valentines' Day is the next "big" holiday.  Tell us about your best or worst or funniest Valentines' Day.
3. Do you have a mentor and if so, what have they mentored you in?
4. If you could be doing anything under the sun right now, what would you be doing?
5. Music can evoke powerful emotions and memories.  Is there a song that can instantly take you somewhere?
6. What is the best advice anyone ever gave you?
7. Have you ever met anyone famous?  If you did, what was your impression?  Were they what you expected them to be? 
8. What one book (other than the Bible...'cause everyone's going to say that) do you think no one should go through life without reading?
9. What is the most unusual thing you've ever done?
10. Has your life turned out to be anything like what you'd imagined when you were growing up?
11. Have you set any goals or made resolutions for 2012?  Share one?

Okay, that's everything, I think.  I'm off to tag you on your blog!