November 22, 2011

30 Days of Thankfulness - Day 22

I find myself very grateful today to NOT be a part of the dating game these days.  My daughter is reeling after her boyfriend, out-of-the-blue, announced that they are "taking a break."  Then he proceeded to tell her not to buy him a Christmas gift...in case he decides to break up with her.

Really???

I am mad as an old wet hen over his treatment of her.  Am I the only one who thinks it sounds like he's telling her to sit in a holding pattern while he decides what he wants to do?  In her shoes I would have totally made the decision for him right then and there....done and over!  And this comes on the heels of her buying him a very expensive birthday gift and spending money she wanted to save for an expensive dinner Sunday.  He didn't have a clue how he was feeling then?

What really pains me, though, is her reaction.  She cried so hard she made herself physically sick.  And then she went on a rant about how he was the only good thing about her, that without him she has nothing...and went on to list all the things lacking in her and her life.

Where did I go wrong as a mother?  How did my beautiful precious daughter come to view herself as worthless unless with a man?  How can I help her to see the gift she is?  How do I help her find herself and feel confident, strong, and happy?  She needs to find all of that and more in herself before she jumps into another relationship.

Anyway, I am very thankful to not be dating.  It is a minefield these days.

4 comments:

Ellen Stewart (aka Ellie/El/e/Mrs. Seaman) said...

As soon as last Sunday's sermon message is up on-line I'm going to send it to you. It's about Esther, and our pastor spoke of his own daughter and the choices she made.

It may not buoy her, but it will hold you.

I have felt what's she's feeling (in my 40s), and it was so detrimental to me. Praying for you, for her.

Stacy said...

Thank you.

Chocolate Covered Daydreams said...

Wow! Two years ago, my daughter was devastated by a break up with a guy that she thought she was going to marry. She called me many times in the middle of the night, crying hysterically, saying that her life was not worth it without him. I prayed many nights through her anguish.

When we took the leap and moved to Oregon, I just knew that we were both going to heal here and heal, we have.

She has a wonderful guy in her life that has been like a son to me for years so God does answer prayers when we don't expect it.

I'm praying for her because I know just how tough it must be for her and for you as her mom. My heart cried just as much as I know yours is crying.

Stacy said...

I think I remember a bit of that on your blog. I don't think there is anything that can wound a mother's heart like a child in pain. :(

They are apparently back together. He called yesterday morning, apologized and said that he'll help her find a job, get her driver's license and then they'll find a place together.

How do you go from not knowing if you even want to be with someone one night and by the next morning you're ready to live with them?? He's a nice enough kid, but that's just it...he's a kid. They aren't ready for this.

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