February 27, 2012

Deep & Wide

Today marks one week without our precious little guy, Scooby.  Each day the grip of grief eases just a bit more and allows happy memories to take the place of pain.  That God gives us hearts that can love so much amazes me.  Can you imagine what the depth and breadth of His love must be since we only reflect a portion of what He is?  What He must feel when he "loses" one of us?  Wow, huh?

It was a nice weekend.  We didn't do much, really.  Saturday was snowy and bitterly cold.  Tim got more blood work done first thing.  He has yet another doctor appointment on Wednesday.  I'm not sure what all is going on. He said they told him is liver count was up and to quit taking his cholesterol medication.  He hasn't taken it in months, so that can't be causing it.  He said the doctor is worried about his bladder, too.  Why??  I can't take off work to go with him Wednesday so our friend, who is a pediatrician (but hey, that's still a doctor) is going to go with him to see what's going on.  The steroids they gave him for the pain in his shoulder haven't helped at all and I guess it isn't one of their biggest concerns, but I wish they could find out why he's always so tired.  He goes to work and works hard, but at home unless there is something he has to do all he does is sleep in front of the television and wake up now and then to eat.  At 51, he's too young to be like that.

Saturday night we went to church.  We were blessed by some of the young adults leading worship and rather than a message we had a program from missionaries to the Philippines, which is where our missions money is concentrated as our church began life as a Filipino-American fellowship and we have several Filipino members.  It was very interesting to see pictures of things we've been hearing about.  I've now got a list of foods to avoid when I go there one day.....pig face (yes, FACE!), deep-fried one day old chicks, grilled chicken intestines, and I will especially not be eating chicks one day before they hatch.  Ugh!  I know it's good to accept your host's hospitality on a mission trip so it is good to know that Filipinos are enough like us to not expect those dishes to be eaten.  In fact, many of those I know look decidedly green at the mention of some of those.

The sun came out on Sunday and warmed things up enough to melt the snow.  Tim did some work on the church building, installing electrical boxes and setting windows.  I rearranged our bedroom and did a major cleaning of it...getting rid of a lot of junk.  We also took down the big gate between the kitchen and living room that we used to confine Scooby to the kitchen when our granddaughter was here.  That was a little sad, but I managed.  Later in the afternoon we all took a walk together.  It doesn't happen much any more that we all do something together so I really enjoyed that.

The promised sunshine is not materializing outside my window this morning, but it's still a good day and I am counting my blessings, these earthly ways God shows His love for us:

171.  A happy memory that springs suddenly from nowhere and pushes the pain just a little bit farther away.

172.  My heart jumping in recognition of God's Spirit during worship.

173.  An unexpected and sweet compliment with a kiss and gentle touch.

174.  A snow-laid blanket of diamonds shimmering in the moonlight.

175.  Jobs, when so many are losing theirs.

176.  Finding a half-started and then forgotten prayer journal and writing in it again.

177.  The smell of "clean" when the scrubbing is done.

178.  An ear, nearly perfect again, after being "glued" together with liquid band-aid.

179.  A chat with a dear sister-in-law and good friend.

180.  Sliding into a bed freshly made with clean sheets and snuggling in.


Wendy S. said...

Still thinking about Scooby and the love you felt for him…I really hope things go smoother with Tim. It's so scary I know to have health issues and feel lost. Sending you all blessings.

Stacy said...

Thank you, Wendy. I'm doing okay....only tearing up about once a day now when something really hits me. Like coming home from work. He'd hear the horn beep when I'd lock the car and start barking and meet me at the door his little tail going a mile a minute. Yeah, I miss that.

Modern Day Disciple said...

Praying for you Stacy. One day at a time. Know you are not alone, my friend- remembering you in your loss, and counting it all joy in light of His Great Love for you.

Marti said...

Hoping that hubby finds out the source of his problems. I am not a picky eater, but I'm afraid that I just couldn't eat local fare, of course, if I didn't know what it was, that might be different. Have a blessed day.

Stacy said...

Thank you for the continued prayer, Dawn.

Marti, all those dishes I mentioned? Unfortunately, look EXACTLY like what they are. :P

Ellen Stewart (aka Ellie/El/e/Mrs. Seaman) said...

Stacy, this is a cursory comment because I've been running late for the past 24 hours, and can't seem to catch up. But I am thinking about you.

The gate touched my heart.

I'll read this more deeply when I catch my breath,


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