Let me give you a little background...
The past, oh...two years, have been rough. It started when my daughter went to Australia for three weeks as a student ambassador. She was not at all happy about going because it meant being away from her boyfriend. We pushed the issue because we thought she needed time away from him and what we were increasingly feeling was a bad relationship (read as emotionally abusive). Things had been getting worse and worse between them and we hoped that with her half way around the world the boyfriend would show his true colors. He did. The plan had been for him to meet her plane at the airport (the day before her birthday). She called him as soon as she landed in California to make the arrangements only to be told he wouldn't be picking her up and that he was seeing someone else (turns out he had been for at least a couple of months).
We were thrilled, but it sent Megan into a tailspin that was steeped in continuing drama. She just could not let it go and the counselor she ended up seeing was no help (in my humble opinion) as she encouraged her to dwell on the situation as a way of getting over it. Huh? Then somewhere around the time she decided she was never going to win that loser back she decided that Alabama is the nearest thing to heaven on Earth. Her favorite cousins live there and so did the next loser she gave a shot to (we paid a family visit over Thanksgiving)....only to be used and have her nowhere-near-healed heart broken again. Still, all we have heard for the last year and a half is how wonderful Alabama is, how horrible it is here and how she can't wait to get away from here.
Add to that my entry into the wonderful world of peri-menopause and wildly fluctuating hormones (I spent six months crying at the drop of a hat) and stress over whether Megan would actually graduate or not (she did...by the skin of her teeth and because the school bent over backward) and depression over the impending empty nest and what that meant for the rest of my life. I was also struggling through a really bad relationship with my son's wife.
Megan has been cut off from all her old friends (her choice) and showing no interest in making a life here while waiting to be able to move to Alabama. She did get a job at a daycare, which she loves, and about a month ago she finally approached her doctor about depression. Her doctor and I both believed she was depressed a looooong time ago, but we also know Megan's mentality and knew if there was to be any success in treatment she was going to have to admit it and ask for the help herself. The doctor started her on Zoloft. Nothing changed the first week, but the second? BAM!! It was like someone flipped a switch. Megan is seeing friends, making new friends, smiling, happy, PLEASANT, and best of all...she's not talking about Alabama all the time. I can't tell you how nice it is to have my daughter back after all this time and what that has done for my own frame of mind.
So, anyway......
I had been through all of this and was really having a bit of a midlife crisis when I decided to start this blog. I was floundering and had no idea what I was going to do with my life now that my role as an active mom was coming to a close. All I knew was that things needed to change. Life was speaking to me. My family was speaking to me. God was speaking to me.
I read a lot of women's fiction and watched a lot of girlfriend movies. I was drawn to these depictions of warm, vibrant, interesting women with full, rich, abundant lives. That's what I wanted for myself. It's still what I want.
The American Heritage Dictionary defines abundance as "fullness to overflowing." I love that! I picture a life so full of love, joy, contentment, peace, friendship, purpose, and more....that one life can't possibly hold it all, some of it has to be given away or passed on to someone else. To reach that level of abundance requires living well, making the most of everything, and for me, deepening my relationship with God. So there you go...A Life Lived Well, In Pursuit of Abundance.
Your love, O Lord, reaches to the heavens,
your faithfulness to the skies.
Your righteousness is like the mighty mountains,
your justice like the great deep.
O Lord, you preserve both man and beast.
How priceless is your unfailing love!
Both high and low among men find refuge
in the shadow of your wings.
They feast on the abundance of your house,
you give them drink from your
river of delights.
For with you is the fountain of life,
in your light, we see light.
~Psalm 36:5-9
5 comments:
Stacy I am so glad that your girl is doing so much better. You are such a strong woman. I love your blog :-)
Rochelle....Thank you! Your encouragement means a lot. :)
If only we all had the wisdom to pursue abundance through God rather than without him!
What an amazing story. Thanks for sharing it with us. I've been through depression with my husband. It's a terrible thing for anyone to go through. I'm SO glad she's doing better.
Quilly...would that it were so, but we are stubborn creatures.
Mich...thank you for the kind words. I went through it with my husband about 10 years ago, too. It is indeed a sucking black hole that drags everyone down. Until these last couple of months, though, I hadn't realized how much of a toll Megan's depression was taking on me.
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