November 03, 2011

30 Days of Thankfulness - Day 3


My granddaughter makes my heart sing!
I am so thankful she is in my life.

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Believe it or not, I'm a shy, introverted person.  It may not seem like it sometimes in my posts or if you know me in real life, you know I can be kind of crazy.  The thing is, that until I get to know a person or a situation, I am nearly paralyzed with shyness.  Put me in a new setting with new people (the Relevant Conference) and I withdraw.  I don't reach out or speak up.  The mere thought of public speaking raises my anxiety level near to the panic attack level.

I've long known this is a problem because people often assume I'm stuck up.  That's not the case.  Chances are, I'd love to be your friend.  I'm just afraid I won't measure up, that you will find me lacking.  Not talking to you is my way of avoiding the pain of rejection.

One of the speakers (I'm sorry, I forget who) at Relevant said something that has rocked my world.  She confessed to struggling with shyness, too, but went on to say that it was a sin.  Being shy is a sin????  Yes, it is because at the root of shyness is......pride.

I didn't want to believe it.  I still don't like it.  I do, however, accept the truth of it for what is at the root of shyness but concern for what others think of us?  If I wasn't prideful, I wouldn't care what anyone thinks of me.

Later this month I have to deliver a message (sermon?) at church based on a paper I'm writing in my Spiritual Formation class.  I feel sick at the thought, but it has to be done for the grade.  Now, it has to be done to defeat a sin.

Lord, help me to defeat my prideful nature.  Help me cease to care what others think of me.  Help me to be bold for You.

1 comment:

Ellen Stewart (aka Ellie/El/e/Mrs. Seaman) said...

Since I'm not shy, I had forgotten this, but I have heard it before.

All the more reason to get up there and deliver your, no wait, HIS message!

Lose yourself.

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