My granddaughter makes my heart sing!
I am so thankful she is in my life.
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Believe it or not, I'm a shy, introverted person. It may not seem like it sometimes in my posts or if you know me in real life, you know I can be kind of crazy. The thing is, that until I get to know a person or a situation, I am nearly paralyzed with shyness. Put me in a new setting with new people (the Relevant Conference) and I withdraw. I don't reach out or speak up. The mere thought of public speaking raises my anxiety level near to the panic attack level.
I've long known this is a problem because people often assume I'm stuck up. That's not the case. Chances are, I'd love to be your friend. I'm just afraid I won't measure up, that you will find me lacking. Not talking to you is my way of avoiding the pain of rejection.
One of the speakers (I'm sorry, I forget who) at Relevant said something that has rocked my world. She confessed to struggling with shyness, too, but went on to say that it was a sin. Being shy is a sin???? Yes, it is because at the root of shyness is......pride.
I didn't want to believe it. I still don't like it. I do, however, accept the truth of it for what is at the root of shyness but concern for what others think of us? If I wasn't prideful, I wouldn't care what anyone thinks of me.
Later this month I have to deliver a message (sermon?) at church based on a paper I'm writing in my Spiritual Formation class. I feel sick at the thought, but it has to be done for the grade. Now, it has to be done to defeat a sin.
Lord, help me to defeat my prideful nature. Help me cease to care what others think of me. Help me to be bold for You.
1 comment:
Since I'm not shy, I had forgotten this, but I have heard it before.
All the more reason to get up there and deliver your, no wait, HIS message!
Lose yourself.
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