Yesterday I shared about the Bible study I participate in and how it often feels like a spiritual battlefield. I told about two extreme examples I've experienced. You can call me nuts, it's okay. Believe me, the things I described are not the norm in my life. It seems crazy to me, too. Crazy and a whole lot scary. We're not used to that kind of spiritual warfare in our modern world. It's something we kind of, in the back of our minds, think only happened in biblical times.
What's more common is God giving me a good swift kick about something like, oh....say, self-control or my reluctance to give up certain things of this world. The teacher will share some gem of information, discussion will follow, and WHAP! God gets my attention and asks, "Are you paying attention to this, because you're not so good at it, you know. It's not exactly a sin, but it doesn't help you grow any closer to me, either. And it might just hinder someone who's just getting to know me. You really should work on changing this." I really do hear God as a voice in my head. I know people who say they've heard him speak out loud to them. That hasn't happened to me. I can't even begin to imagine what that would be like, but I can admit.....if it ever does, I sure hope I'm wearing Depends!
As for Satan and his crew, I don't hear voices. Not even in my head. From him I get feelings. The big one I described yesterday for sure, but normally it's more subtle. Satan is like a bully. He finds our weaknesses and keeps poking at them until they become open, festering wounds on our souls. Wounds that can cause us, in our pain, to doubt, to falter, and even to fall away. We all have our weak spot. For me, it is my insecurities and low self-esteem.
I'm an only child and for most of my growing up years we lived in places where school and church were the only places I got to interact with other kids. I got good at being alone and amusing myself. I think I probably missed out on forming some basic social skills, too, since I usually feel like I'm one beat off from everyone else in social situations. I don't have a lot of friends and I don't have a best friend at all. There is no one in my life that I trust with the deepest parts of me. Most of the time I'm okay with that. I'm still good at amusing myself.
|Satan's Lies by Gabriela Love|
Horrible, isn't it? I admit that it sometimes gets the best of me and I end up wallowing in it. Other times I can get lost in the Word or pour it all out in prayer and drive it away. For the really bad times, I know to call on solid Christians to help me take a stand. We are not meant to go this way alone. God fights our battles for us if we let Him and he gives us others to stand with in strength.
And as a side note....if there is any truth, He will convict us of it....as He is doing with me (I'll write about what I'm learning about myself another day. Just remember there is a difference between conviction and condemnation. Condemnation is from Satan.