April 02, 2011

30 Day Song Challenge, Day 2: I Hate You

My least favorite song ever?????


day 03 – a song that makes you happy
day 04 – a song that makes you sad
day 05 – a song that reminds you of someone
day 06 – a song that reminds you of somewhere
day 07 – a song that reminds you of a certain event
day 08 – a song that you know all the words to
day 09 – a song that you can dance to
day 10 – a song that makes you fall asleep
day 11 – a song from your favorite band
day 12 – a song from a band you hate
day 13 – a song that is a guilty pleasure
day 14 – a song that no one would expect you to love
day 15 – a song that describes you
day 16 – a song that you used to love but now hate
day 17 – a song that you hear often on the radio
day 18 – a song that you wish you heard on the radio
day 19 – a song from your favorite album
day 20 – a song that you listen to when you’re angry
day 21 – a song that you listen to when you’re happy
day 22 – a song that you listen to when you’re sad
day 23 – a song that you want to play at your wedding
day 24 – a song that you want to play at your funeral
day 25 – a song that makes you laugh
day 26 – a song that you can play on an instrument
day 27 – a song that you wish you could play
day 28 – a song that makes you feel guilty
day 29 – a song from your childhood
day 30 – your favorite song at this time last year


Up and at 'em waaaay too early for a Saturday, but what're you gonna do?  Tim still had to work today so the alarm went off at 4:00, which meant the dogs needed to go out.  I went back to bed after that but the sleeping is not so good with both dogs in the bed and both are snugglers....not so bad with the 10 pound poodle, but the 75 pound hound is a different story.  I finally managed to get comfy (sort of) and fall asleep only to wake up with a leg cramp.  I've been plagued by them since I was a teen.  Most are mild-ish and I can stretch them out without getting out of bed, but now and then I get one like I did this morning that launches me screaming out of bed.

But the number one reason I can't sleep.....

It's after 7:00 in the morning and Megan isn't home yet.  She has been pushing the limits since last Sunday staying out most, if not all of the night, though this is the latest (earliest?) she's been out.  She swears it's all innocent.  I still remember 18.....and I'm not buying it.  I REALLY want to rant and lay down the law, but I'm biting my tongue.  One, because Tim doesn't support that option at all and two, because I know in my heart it won't do any good.  Meg has always been a strong-willed child and now that she is a legal adult.... 

Many people think I should lay down the law with her, tell that she is living in my house and she will abide by my rules.  I wish that would work, but I know it would only result in her finding a way to move out...into God only knows what kind of situation...and further hurt our already rocky relationship.  At least with her living here I see her in passing and know that she makes it home okay (eventually).

The one thing I've tried to push is for her to at least call me and let me know where she is, who she is with and/or when she might come home so I am not sitting up all night worrying.  She lets me know she's going out and with whom, but rarely if ever thinks to call and say she'll be later than she thought or that she met up with other friends and is with them now.  That is what is killing me.  I'm a mom, when I don't know where my kid is all night long my imagination goes into hyper-drive and I want to go out and search every ditch along every country road in the area, call the hospitals....maybe even the jails.

If anything good is coming from the situation it is the amount of time I spend in prayer.  I am praying a lot, because let's face it....what else can I do?  I won't turn her out.  At least not unless she brings something dangerous or illegal into the house.


By the way....trying a pop-up window for commenting.  Quilly reported that Blogger wouldn't post any of her comments.  I don't know what's up with that.  Probably just one of Bloggers little "hiccups."  I just thought I'd try a different format and see if it helped.  Please let me know if you have any problems.


Ellen Stewart (aka Ellie/El/e) said...

Mac is in grad school, and right now is living in Baton Rouge. I live near Chicago. I'm sure your geography skills are good enough to recognize, he's far away.

When he's home, even at 24, I ask him to let me know if he'll be out all night. Lately, since I don't text, he'll do it here, knowing I'll wake and come to the computer.

He's only forgotten once. Perhaps if you just talk to her (not that you haven't), tell her you're fine if she's out all night, you just need to know that's been her decision so you can rest. If she doesn't, then ask her again to do so. It can be your mom's day/birthday/Xmas gift, daily respect.

Stacy Lynn said...

I do talk to her...just texted with her again this morning (she isn't coming home until later). Once she gets over the mad of having to report in, she's always contrite and says she knows we love her and worry, but....it doesn't make her let me know. Maybe it is just her A.D.D. that keeps her from even thinking about it? Heaven knows she's never remembered anything else important over the years.

Ellen Stewart (aka Ellie/El/e) said...

Do you pay her phone bill? If so, you could tell her she can't have her phone if she doesn't report in. Since you're not the only one she uses it to text/call, she may fight the A.D.D. and do the responsible thing.

Contrite only counts for so much, what I tell my kids is, "Don't apologize, change your behavior. Then I will know you're sorry."

Tough love,

(And lest you forget, I had some boundary issues with my son brought on by a deep bout of depression, so I totally get the concern.)

Rochelle@AFamilyofLooneys said...

Hi Stacy Lynn you are caught between a rock and a hard place with your daughter. I agree that there is only so much you can do. I hate it that you are going through this. Hopefully your daughter will realize what she is putting you thought. Looking back I hated being the age your daughter is. You think you know so much, but you don't know crap.

Stacy Lynn said...

Ellen...We do pay the phone bill and I'd be willing to consider taking the phone away, but Tim isn't. He insists the kids have their phones (we still provide one for the 24 year old!) so they can call if they need us and so we can get in touch with them. It's kind of a one way deal, though, with only hearing from them or having them answer when they feel like it. :P

Rochelle...thanks. :) Isn't that the truth about not knowing crap? When I suggest that maybe, just maybe, I've learned a think or two in 46 years that she doesn't know yet she looks at me like I just fell of the turnip truck. I just keep telling myself this will all pass (I hope).

Anonymous said...

i dunno what to say here because I've never had to deal with this type of situation. The only thing I would do is let her do her own thing and let her learn the hard way. That's about the only thing kids listen to. It might hurt her but it's her decision and the more you try and put a stop to this the more she is going to rebel. Tough situation. I agree with you I think this will pass. One thing I wouldn't do is do much for her when she is home. She is old enough to stay out all night, she's old enough to fend for herself at home. Tough love. I feel for ya.

quilly said...

Choose to stop the struggle. Don't say anything to her when she comes and goes. Don't demand to know where she has been or what she is doing. Don't ask her when she will be home.

I know it will be hard, but you already know you can't force her to comply, so stop trying. Once you change, you might find a surprising change in her as well.

There is no point in rebellion if there is nothing to rebel against.

Stacy Lynn said...

You have a point, Quilly.


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