My Christmas spirit was flagging to begin with thanks to the hubby's crazy work schedule that left no time for anything else, a daughter moping over what was and still is the strangest break-up in history, a child who has chosen to accuse and believe the worst and cut himself off from his family....and then I got sick. So much to do and no energy to deal with it. I wanted to just skip it all this year.
I had plenty of good intentions about not dwelling on the bad stuff, but you know what they say about good intentions. All those bad cootie bugs stripped me of the strength to fight and I gave in. For all I cared, Christmas could go back where it came from.
But then little by little the "grinch" got kicked to the curb. We went to church and all that candlelight and Christmas worship got me looking in the right direction. Then some shopping pushed me a little further into the mood. Some good friends kept praying for my health and heart. The hubby stayed supportive and was simply...around, having started his vacation. The blues got the final heave-ho at church on Christmas Eve. Amidst all that beauty and surrounded by friends celebrating, I finally let go of the hurt and disappointments and expectations of what the holiday had to be and clung to the only thing that matters....a baby born on a night 2000 years ago, a baby whose birth changed the world, a baby born to die so that one day he could save us.
Hubby's work schedule will most likely be crazy once again after the holidays. The daughter is still moping. The son is still estranged. The sickness is still hanging on. But we are blessed in so many ways and though there are hurts in this life we know that we can survive them because we don't have to face them alone. There is One who is always there to carry our burndens if we allow him.
I'm looking forward to the rest of vacation and the coming new year.