April 02, 2013

Here's What's Up

I've been A.W.O.L. lately.  Sorry about that.  It was a busy weekend and now I find I'm really feeling run down and tired.....which has me feeling "blah" and struggling to fight off those lies Satan likes to whisper in my ear.  I'm doing a so-so job at it and feeling a bit blue and sorry for myself today.

*Easter really bummed me out...as just about any holiday is tending to do these days.  Those are the times when it's impossible to ignore that our son and his family aren't here.  We send gifts to the kids and make a point of sending a message that we love them.  Tim has heard from him twice recently.  Megan hears from him now and then.  I haven't heard a thing.  It stinks, but I won't apologize for something I did not do.  I waffled about it a while ago and Tim said no.  I told him to go see the kids since the anger apparently doesn't extend to him.  He says he won't go unless I am welcome, too.  So now I feel guilty about that.

*Tim doesn't see the orthopedic guy for his hand until Thursday.  He hasn't slowed down on working with one hand in a cast....but when he's at home he wants Megan and I to do everything for him and gets mad if we don't.  Megan and I are running out of good humor.

*I haven't heard anything from the doctor about the x-rays of my knee, so I guess that means there isn't anything seriously wrong.  He said he'd call if there was and he's very good about that, not like some offices.  I think I'm still going to call later this week just to ask him to explain what I was looking at when I saw the big white spot on the bone with a white zig-zag running up from it.

*Megan stayed at a friend's house last night.  She is (according to her Facebook status) out putting in applications this morning.  I hope she has some luck.  Her big goal is to move out of here.  I'm not against that.  Maybe if she does we will still have a relationship.  Right now we're not so good.  She is back to sleeping most of the day and being up all night.  I rarely see her and when she is here and awake, she stays in her room avoiding us.  She gets loud and defensive if I try to say anything to her...doesn't even wait to see what's up.

Sigh.  This stuff with my kids is breaking my heart.  I wish I knew how it went so horribly wrong.


*Easter was a little different.  Our little fellowship had a service at 10:00 and several of us had decided to go out for dinner afterward.  Tim told Megan she had to go.  She did, though she complained about being tired and not feeling good the whole time and was worried about when we'd be done so she could go celebrate Easter with her un-boyfriend and his family.  We also invited my mom and her husband and miracle of miracles, they went!  I believe they enjoyed themselves, too.

*There was no ham in our Easter.  The dinner after church was at a huge Chinese buffet that just opened.  It was very good!  And this was my fortune....

Bahahahahaha!  Now that's a keeper!

*For supper that night I made chicken enchiladas.  Other than church it really didn't feel like Easter at all.  I guess, just like I've had to do with Christmas, I'll learn to adjust and accept that the traditions and family don't mean to others what they've always meant to me.

*The Civic Club met last night.  I shared a little about them last month.  We are looking at the fact that after 90+ years of service, it is time to disband the club.  It has outlived it's usefulness...and most of its members.  Things went better than I ever expected last night as far as taking care of business and I did something that someone should have done a long, long, loooong time ago.  I stood my ground with "Mary."

Mary is the woman that every church or club has.  She has been there forever so she "knows" everything.  She is bossy and wants things run her way.  I've been president for 2 years and I don't think I've done a thing without Mary calling (or having her hench-woman call) to tell me it needs done and how to do it.

Mary is manipulative, domineering, condescending, stubborn, expects to get her way, and will beat a dead horse into the ground during meetings.  The one thing she is very, very good at is claiming the limelight and getting her face and/or name in the newspaper.  Last night we had a motion on the table and I called for a vote.  Mary jumped in and wanted to discuss the disbanding.  What we were voting on was financial and would not move the disbanding forward in any way.  I told Mary we could discuss the disbanding after the vote.  She kept insisting we discuss it.  I kept telling her we would after the vote since it DID NOT AFFECT what we were voting on.  She kept insisting like I wasn't even talking.  I finally put on my big, loud, take-no-prisoners-voice, leaned across the table, pointed right at her and said, AFTER THE VOTE.  You could have heard a pin drop as everyone waited to see what Mary would do (she is not a popular lady except in her own mind because she belongs to virtually every organization in town).  She sat back and said...."Well, okay then."  And that was it.

I really don't condone yelling at 80-year-old women, but you know....sometimes they have it coming and need to be reminded that age doesn't mean you get to ride rough-shod over everyone.

*I made a  Sunshine cake for the meeting last night.  It was amazing!  Here's the recipe if you want it.

1 package of yellow cake mix
1/2 cup vegetable oil*
1/2 cup chopped walnuts
4 eggs
1 (11 ounce) can of mandarin oranges, undrained

 *For High altitude: Add 1/4 cup of flour and decrease oil to 2 Tbsp.

Preheat oven to 350 degrees. Grease the bottom of a 13x9 pan. Beat cake mix, (flour-if High Altitude), oil, walnuts, eggs and mandarin orange segments with juice on low speed for 30 seconds. Then mix on medium speed for 2 minutes. Bake at 350 degrees for 25-30 minutes. Cool for about 1 hour before frosting cake. 

1 (26 ounce) can crushed pineapple, undrained
1 large package of vanilla instant pudding
1 (8 ounce) container of non-dairy whipped topping (my Mom uses Cool-whip)

Stir undrained pineapple and pudding mix together until completely mixed.  Fold in non-dairy whipped topping.  Frost cake.  Store in refrigerator until ready to use.

Note:  Store leftovers in refrigerator.


Simone said...

I hear heartbreak in every word of this post. Remind me again, how old Megan is. I know that as tough as issues like this are, you have got to be able to reach for the light at the end of this all. Eventually, your son is going to realize the affect that it has on his kids not being able to spend time with you. And let's face it, boys do want to make sure their moms are doing okay. He is just digging his heals in to see if you will be the one that will break. At this point, if you have said all that needs to be said and you have done all that you can to make things better, then, pray and release him and the family to God. It is now at His feet. (By the way, you should make a God box..the box where you put in things that you are wanting to let go of and give to God and once it is in the box, there is no taking it back.) Hang in there. I know discouragement is brutal physically and emotionally. Take care of yourself.

Stacy said...

Thank you, Simone...just thank you. Your counsel and advice are very welcome.

Beth Zimmerman said...

The sunshine cake looks heavenly! Sorry there's not more sunshine in your soul right now!

I know that we made mistakes that impacted our kids, just like our parents did with us and theirs with them, but we cannot, and must not, take responsibility for their bad choices! Your son, and mine for that matter, is being a jerk! Some day he will figure that out. And Meghan ... sounds to me like she is dealing with some depression, insecurity and guilt which is a perfect storm for disaster for any parent who innocently wanders into her territory! Try not to take it personally!

Love you!

Stacy said...

Love you, too, Beth! I know my son is being a jerk, but it doesn't make it hurt any less. And Megan, yes...she struggles with depression and YES! heaven help me if I wander into her territory. LOL I know these things will pass...just not so patient. I'm going to have to try that God Box idea of Simone's and see if it helps me let go.

Debby@Just Breathe said...

I'm not a happy camper when life changes and things are not the same as they use to be. Praying for you. Thank you for the recipe, the cake sounds yummy! Take care and God Bless. ((HUGS))

Stacy said...

Thank you, Debby. I'm okay with everything these days but the holidays. I grew up with these huge family holidays and always hoped to have them with my kids. They appear not to be sentimental.


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